To Work or Not to Work: That is the Question

The battle of the sexes has been waged since the beginning of time. Are women more suitable to the house and home? Can men adequately substitute for women in child-rearing? Are women less capable in the work place than men? These are age-old questions that even now have no real answer. The modern world demands that women take a stand and fight for their freedom from oppression, and the desire for true equality is the driving force behind the advancement of women. While progress had indeed been reached, women are still not equal to men in society. Take Sarah Palin; when running for vice president, many Americans scorned the fact that her time on the campaign trail took her away from her family. This, in and of itself, is not a major problem. The true problem lies in the fact that the admonishment that Palin received was not directed towards men in the same position. Americans, as a whole, found no issue in the fact that all previous male vice presidents spent less time with their children than they would have had they not been elected. Rather, they only found fault when a woman attempted to followed suit.

This same bias is shown in literature as well as in reality. Nora is scorned by her husband in "A Doll's House" because the actions that she took to save her husband put her children at risk. In Torvald's opinion, the children could have been unconciously influenced by Nora's immorality. Trovald sees her as capable only of performing the duties of a mother and ignores the fact that she was as sucessful in her business endeavors as the situation allowed. Virginia Woolf addresses many of these same ideas in her essay "A Room of One's Own." She acknowledges the fact that for much of fiction, the female sex was written about only in relation to the male characters. Women were wives and mothers, not people in and of themselves. The very women who paved the way for future female writers were spinsters and childless wives, who were independent of children. This freedom enabled them to change the way we see women in fiction.

I think that it is extremely unfortunate that women are always the first to assign the duty of caretaker to. Women and men are equally capable, and thus should be treated the same, whether it be at work or at home. Everyone, male or female, should be able to go for their dream without ever being held back. Having children is a choice that a couple needs to carefully decide, rather than just rush in headlong. Children need guidance and influence by both parents, so if one parent is unable to put their child first, then they should wait to have children. Only by dividing up the responsibilities of the family and household amongst both parents will true equality be reached. Equality, as does much else, starts in the home.

A Selfish Nature

Selfishness; it's a trait that few admit to, but almost everyone has. It can be found in many forms, whether it be in the all-star who refuses to pass the ball, or in the working mom who can't seem to spare some change to help the poor. Society as a whole overlooks most forms of selfishness, reasoning that the team will do better if one player "hogs" the ball, and that the poor should get jobs and contribute to society. Rather, society applies the term "selfish" to the select few who stand out in the crowd do to their ridiculous and over-the-top greediness.

Literature takes its own spin on selfishness. In both The Awakening and Doll House the main characters chose their own path of individuality and self-awareness rather than stay with their husbands and children. Critics have split reactions towards this. However, both stories reflect the main characters in a sympathetic light. Nora leaves her family not because she did not care, but because she cared too much to hurt them by her own unawareness of self. She realizes that her children can never be anything but playthings to her if she doesn't first discover her own identity. The restraints placed upon Nora by both society and Helmer dictated that she adhere to the conventional actions, thoughts and feelings of a married woman. By remaining within this structured environment Nora felt that she would hurt not only herself, but her children as well.

Edna is perhaps more of a doll-like figure than even Nora. Like Nora, she has a caring(not necessarily loving) husband, adoring children, and beautiful surroundings. However, Edna is not aware enough to appreciate any of this. Until she begins living in the crampt, empty pigeon-house Edna doesn't really see her life for what it is. While society would smile at the well-to-do couple, in Edna's eyes there is nothing to smile about. She feels smothered in a world where money and reputation triumph over love, so she seeks the final, and perhaps only, escape. Edna's suicide is not really the end, rather it marks the beginning of when Edna not only thinks for herself, but acts for herself. True, this is selfishness, but it is the selfishness that all humans are entitled to.

I think that inside we are all selfish. Who really wishes an individual sucess while finding failure of their own? However, I don't think their is anything wrong in this idea. The very fact that we are selfish makes it all the more commendable when works of charity and kindness are offered. The idea of advancement and self-improvement is the core which drives foward an advancing world. People can, and should, see themselves for who they really are, for only with self-knowledge comes improvement. We must all be a little selfish to see, and appreciate, the world for what it really is.

Soul Mates

Love is a theme that resounds not only through literature, but through everyday life as well. Paging through a novel or watching an EHarmony commercial on television, everyday there are constant reminders that love completes the individual. But the question remains, is there one person who is really our "other half?" Do soul mates really exist, or is that just a concept created to keep hope alive? Taking a hard look at modern day society, it is difficult, if not impossible, to accept the existence of true and complete love---love without boundaries or stipulations. Divorce has become a commonplace and acceptable action, transforming marriage into a mere technicality. "Love" is a term applied to even the slightest situation or infatuation. Society dictates that marriage be financially and socially beneficial, an action taken not because two people are meant to be together, but because it is the practical conclusion to a relationship. People are not expected to go through life looking for a soul mate, but a partner to share the burdens and responsibilities of raising a family.

Literature does not present one comprehensible viewpoint on soul mates. In Wuthering Heights, Heathcliff lives his life completely enamored with Catherine. Then, when Heathcliff realizes that Catherine will never be his, he sets out on a path of revenge. He acts unscrupulously until the remnants of his one-time soul essentially disappear. His actions put to question his love for Catherine. If Heathcliff was truly Catherine's soul mate, he would never set out to hurt Catherine, because how Catherine felt would be more important than how he did. On the opposite end, in Like Water for Chocolate, Tita is separated from Pedro, her true love, by circumstances beyond their control. The family tradition demands that as the youngest daughter, Tita stays unmarried to care for her mother in old age. Tita's and Pedro's devotion to one another never goes away, and in the end they die from their overwhelming love.

I believe that we all have someone that we are meant to be with, that there is one person who will fill the gaps in your own life, as you will theirs. I think that people jump into marriage when they don't really love one another, and simply are not compatible; when people get married, they are in for the long haul. If you are truly soul mates, no one and nothing can tear you apart. Love, in my opinion, can conquer all things. A soul mate is something that all people need, and it is not until you find yours that you even know what you are missing.